


Come Back to Me

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sehun makes Kai angry and he pays for it then Kai pays for making Sehun pay, sub/dom, this is so dark and I feel evil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-02-22 03:22:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2492624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The memory of causing him pain seemed so far away now. It felt like a century since he'd heard the other talk. It felt like a millennia since he'd felt the other warm in his chest, arms wrapped around him tight. It felt like epoch since he'd felt the others love for him... It had been exactly twenty-one days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Back to Me

**Author's Note:**

> I've had writers block, but this bunny appeared from no where. It's darker than anything I've written before, this could be very triggering, please read with care.

It hasn't happened many times that Sehun upset Kai. When it had come to pass, he would merely press him hard into the bed and take whatever he wanted from the younger man, bringing him to brink of complete and utter ecstasy before denying him at that moment. Though he, eventually, always let him have his release, the younger sobbing out his relief, sometimes feeling it so strongly that he arched up off the bed, falling back limply.

 

Sehun had never needed aftercare. He was stronger than he let on most of the time. Kai would help him clean himself up, give him a sloppy kiss and disappear to the washroom, to tend to his own body. Upon returning to the bed, he would look over the other man laying in the bed, admiring the dark bruises he left on his body. Before sleeping, he would tuck himself into the bed and pull Sehun into his side, smiling as he cuddled into his side, melding bonelessly to his leanly muscled frame.

 

Though this time, he is none of his normal self. All day, the other had defied him, being bullheaded; he was probably just seeing how much his pout could get him out of. The last thing he had done was ignore a direct order, shooting Kai a pout and batting his eyes, but the fluttering eyes and pushed out lip weren't enough. Maybe, it had been his day earlier —he felt about ready to snap from the moment he left his house— all he was sure of was his anger as he he roughly grabbed Sehun and pulled him along to the bedroom.

 

When they reached their bedroom, Kai shoved him toward the bed and he sat down, looking up to him with wide eyes. Merely that look sent ripples of pleasure through his body and he felt each singular one accumulate thickly in one place. Already, his breath was heavy, mostly from his anger at the defiance he had witnessed earlier. With only the flick of a hand, he ordered the other to strip and watched him do so dutifully, first shedding his shirt and looking up with those same wide eyes, innocence playing in them to tease Kai. With each layer shed, Kai took off a piece of his own, eyes never leaving Sehun's thin, but muscled form, his hunger for the man increasing.

 

Kai slowly raked his eyes over the other, taking in the details of every inch of the ivory toned canvas before him. On his collarbones, he had some soft red-violet bruises, though his skin was otherwise unmarred until Kai's gaze reached his hips. Golden, crescent-shaped bruises lingered there from their previous coupling, where his hands had gripped him hard and pulled his body back into the pleasure he was offering. To see Sehun covered in marks made by him filled his chest with an almost overwhelming warmth that slowly crept through his body, the feeling so strong he was taken aback shortly, frozen in place.

 

The blonde moved for Kai and he pulled him forward into a kiss, pushing his body against Kai's with a needy whimper. Kai pretended he wasn't gong to be punishing him, reaching down and wrapping his hand firmly around his head, pumping down slowly until his hand squeezed the base, hand ascending back up and then down. With more needy whimpers, he bucked into his hand, the touch too little, the pleasure creeping up too slowly. Knowing how worked up Sehun had already become, he removed his touch and pulled back from the kiss, chuckling darkly before giving him a rough shove back onto the bed.

 

Again, Sehun wasn't new to this. Punishment was, sometimes, something he longed for and purposely caused. He was expecting Kai to push him down and tease him endlessly before bringing him to an apocalyptic orgasm, though Kai was only following instinct and right now he was both too worked up and too angry.

 

He hit Sehun sharply across the cheek, watching red spread across his creamy skin. Shock blossomed over his features and it set Kai's body aflame with excitement; Sehun's eyes closed some and his mouth fell open, his hand moving up slow to the mark. He moved forward swiftly and took advantage of his distraction, his moment of shock, and he flipped him with strong arms, pinning him easily beneath the weight of his body.

 

"Bad boys don't get pleasured, they get punished." He whispered, nipping the shell of Sehun's ear, chuckling when he heard him moan. He brought his hand down against the other ass, rubbing his hand to soothe the sting faintly before doing it again. Again and again, his hand came down to hit the pale ivory flesh. By the time the skin had become brightly red, Sehun was crying out and Kai was too lost in his role to notice it was of pain not of pleasure. He switched to the other side, spanking him until that cheek was also an angry shade of red. Beneath him, the other man whimpered, but he did not call out their safe word that would've surely stopped Kai.

 

Kai almost didn't reach over to the nightstand to fish out the tube of lube, but he didn't want the uncomfortable friction for himself. His sane mind was currently lost somewhere amongst anger and need, he didn't see how much he had already pained Sehun, how much he'd frightened him. Tears had pricked Sehun's eyes and fallen into the sheets, but he didn't sob with pain as he body wanted to. He was sure that Kai wouldn't be too hard on him after all of that and he wanted to prove to himself that he could handle the pain.

 

Light reflected off the wetness on Kai's cock, his hand working the lube over his length before he brought his hand to tease Sehun. He pressed the flat pad of his thumb against him, teasing him by rubbing gentle circles against the tight muscle, smirking when he heard a gasp and he pushed back against him. Had he not been lost, he would've given him his fingers first, made him fuck himself back into them, but he lifted his finger away and moved to hover Sehun, stroking a hand down his back too gently compared to his other rough touches.

 

With the same soft touch, he slid his hand down the back of Sehun's thigh, pushing his leg gently over and chuckling when he complied with the touch, shifting his legs wide for Kai.

 

Kai pressed into him without abandon, feeding off that long cry that came from Sehun. It was of pain. Searing pain filled Sehun, his body instantly turning cold though he still felt sweat forming on his skin. His choked cries were muffled into the mattress, his throat felt raw, body shaking, tears falling, but still he didn't cry out the word that would rescue him from the pain. There was a brief moment where Kai paused and he breathed deep, adjusting to the intense tightness of him, leaving biting kisses along his shoulders.

 

The first thrust, Sehun was mostly sure, was by far the worst. Kai pulled out completely and pushed in strongly, nudging against the younger man's prostate and sending pleasure blooming through his pained body, pulling another cry from him. The cry was a confusing mix, at first it was from pain, but his body became rigid with pleasure and he furrowed his brow disliking the feeling, but still saying nothing. More tears came, accompanying his shouts, rolling down his cheeks. He wouldn't break.

 

The thrusts were rough, Kai's hips snapping hard against Sehun's, shoving himself inside him deeply, with deep grunts, proving his dominance over him. Sehun soon became hoarse after crying out so much, his throat raw and burning, cracking with each noise that was ripped from him. It was then that he lost himself, his eyes glazing over as he forced himself to focus on nothing, yet everything at once. There was nothing once he was disconnected, only the familiar feel of pain and the sound of Kai's grunting.

 

He was aware when Kai came, felt him fill him, but it was different than the previous times. Those times were not rough like this, they did not pain him like this. Times before hadn't made him feel altogether broken and dirty. Now he felt as if he'd been hit in all his weakest places, successfully breaking the strong walls. He felt the emotions crash down on him heavily, enveloping him, until he felt that he was drowning in them with no safe hand to grasp to bring him back up.

 

It didn't hurt as much when Kai pulled from him, but it did hurt when he was dropped limp onto the bed, his back arching as the pain took control of his muscles. He didn't receive a kiss before the older man was out the room, leaving him there alone, drowning in his thoughts.

 

Inside the washroom, Kai's world came crashing down around him, the emotions hitting him hard until he was sure he suffocate beneath the heaviness in his chest. He quickly moved to the shower, not minding how cold the water was at first as it soon became so hot it felt like it was burning him. With a bar of soap in hand, he scrubbed harshly at his skin, as if trying to rub away the top layer to the new and clean second layer.

 

Neither man spoke for the rest of the night. Kai only pulled Sehun higher in the bed and covered him before moving around to his side and falling asleep facing away from him.

 

_______________________________________

Kai didn't know it was so easy to slip into depression. One day he was laughing, smiling, happy, loving someone who was the same, someone who bent and bowed, allowed him to control him, trusted him. That trust vanished, he even lost himself and he found himself in the middle of nowhere. He was not standing in a empty white space, he was floating through black space.

 

Sehun was in the dark. He didn't know Kai anymore and he didn't know himself. He didn't think. He couldn't bring himself to. Shock had gripped him tightly and sunken into his bones, making that its new home. He forced himself to drink and eat, the pain in his stomach becoming unbearable, but he still only ate in small portions.

 

Pain sank deep in the two, their former selves gone and leaving behind blank canvases. Kai had already begun to pick up the paintbrush, trying to repaint his previous masterpiece, though it occurred to him that it hadn't been perfect. He had hurt the one thing he cared most about. Shades of blue and purple coated the canvas, now, green flecked in random places. Sehun's remained blank, his shaky hand not able to grip the paintbrush firmly. The two didn't speak to one another. Kai was too afraid and Sehun had forgotten how to speak, how to breathe, how to continue living.

 

Over the next days, it remained mostly the same. Kai watched Sehun closely. Sehun watched nothing. His blank stare only broke when he looked up or down, his head lolling about. Sometimes, Kai noticed tears rolling down Sehun's cheeks, but he didn't wipe them off, instead let them drop off his chin. It hurt Kai, knowing that he couldn't help him, that he no longer had his brazen courage, no longer had the younger man's trust.

_______________________________________

 

It's two weeks before Kai attempts to speak to him. Kai steps forward to say something finally, but Sehun hurries away from him. In his haste to get away from the other man, he trips and lands on his hands and knees, whimpering as he's struck with pain. And instantly, Kai is rushing to him, kneeling at his side and helping him up. At first, he doesn't react to the man touching him, but as soon as he looks at him, panic shows in his previously dead eyes and he runs away from him, hiding away in their room.

 

Kai was hurt, but he understood. He would understand if Sehun left, actually, he thinks he should leave. It would be better so he couldn't hurt Sehun anymore, so he couldn't damage anymore than he had. The thought of not being with him, though, hurts him so bad it feels like the pain is physically there, a blunt hurt stabbing at his chest.

 

Behind the door of their bedroom, Sehun curls up and he breathes heavily, the events of that night replaying and he watches until forcing himself from his mind again. And like that, he's blank again. The panic that had lit fire behind his eyes faded until there was nothing and he breathed out heavily and picked himself up off the floor.

 

 

It's been sixteen full days. Sixteen days of torture for Kai, who is aware of his surroundings. Though to Sehun it feels strange, the time is empty but it seems it passes by quickly due to all his sleeping. Since that night, Kai has been on the couch and he is alright with that, he would rather Sehun be comfortable, he didn't deserve any comfort.

 

Kai wakes up, on the sixteenth morning, to Sehun standing in front of the couch, his eyes as wide as saucers. In his half-asleep mind, he rushes to find something to say, but before he can, Sehun looks to the floor and hurries out of the room, shutting himself up in their(his) room.

 

 

On the nineteenth day, the dark haired man runs into the kitchen, having heard a loud smash, followed up by a yell. On the floor are shards of the mug that apparently Sehun had broken, next to Sehun himself who is rocking and shaking, tears rushing down his cheeks. Kai says nothing to him, doesn't touch him, but he kneels beside him and carefully picks up the glass.

 

An hour later, Sehun picks himself up off the floor and he walks into his room, closing and locking the door. Kai has officially dubbed the room Sehun's alone. Black is added with the purples and blues on his canvas.

 

 

The memory of causing him pain seemed so far away now. It felt like a century since he'd heard the other talk. It felt like a millennia since he'd felt the other warm in his chest, arms wrapped around him tight. It felt like epoch since he'd felt the other's love for him... It had been exactly twenty-one days.

 

Pain stabs Kai, the wound becoming deeper by the day and his body slowly bleeding out more and more until he suddenly realizes that he has nothing to lose. If he loses Sehun without trying, then he does and if he loses after trying, the he does. The wound becomes deeper, but he musters up a little courage and walks to the room. He was terrified when he stood outside his door, but when he walks in he feels a little braver.

 

He walks to the bed and kneels on it, tensing when the lump beneath the covers begins to wriggle madly until his head pokes out from beneath the covers. Fear is clear on his face, but Kai gently grabs his shoulders and holds him still, the small amount of force making him freeze.

 

"Please, let me help you. I hurt you, in one of the worst ways I could, please, let me help you back together." He pleads, earnest in his voice, he was just shy of tears. The still body squirms away from him and out of his grip, escaping to a corner where he sinks down and sits.

 

Kai nods and he stands to his feet, walking slowly out of the door, letting his tears finally fall. He refuses to let Sehun hear him sob and he hurries to the living room, muffling each cry in a pillow.

 

He is sure he's lost him for good now.

 

That night he cries himself to sleep.

 

 

It's days later when he attempts to speak to him again and he sits on the edge of the bed, watching him with a soft expression. Sehun looks up to him and, for a few seconds, he's back, his eyes scared and filling with tears and Kai can't hide his own then. They fall and he hopes that he comes to and realizes that he is being sincere and needs him.

 

But he doesn't and Kai is okay with that. He leaves and nods. Again, he tries the next day, with no luck, and then same the day after that and the day after that.

 

 

It's twenty-nine days since Kai has hurt Sehun when he walks in on Sehun crying, his face pressed into a pillow and his body shaking with sobs. He is instantly at his side, rubbing his back and trying to pry him away from the pillow, which he eventually does. The tears and sobs are uncontrollable and he pushes his face against Kai's knees, not minding that he's touching him.

 

"Let me help you." He whispers and wipes his tears, moving him gently, but as soon as he grabs his hands Sehun is trying to escape. Not wanting to frighten him, he moves away and watches him retreat to the corner, watching the way he curls in on himself. "Please, I want to help fix what I broke." 

 

He crosses the room to him and kneels in front of him, gently resting his hand atop Sehun's knee, stroking it softly with his thumb. Leaning forward, he rests his chin on his hand, wanting to be close to him. Kai isn't sure how long Sehun cries, but when he does stop, he raises his head and waits for him to react to their closeness.

 

Their eyes meet and Kai's breath catches in his throat. He waits and waits, hoping for a good reaction, but he thinks it's in vain. The blond stands to his feet and he crosses the room, standing in front of the mirror and looking at himself, reaching up to push away tears. In the past few weeks, he's lost weight, it isn't a drastic amount, but his clothes are still a bit big on him. The once happy, youthful face is now pale, gaunt.

 

Kai stands to his feet and slowly walks up, looking at himself in the mirror over his shoulder. Before walking closer, he is sure that Sehun sees him and he continues to walk until he stands with Sehun's back almost against his chest. For a moment, he is lost again, but he remembers and reaches forward to softly take Sehun's hand in his own. There is a flinch, but he relaxes into the touch within a few moments. Kai raises their hands and looks at them intertwined, something in him pressing into place again.

 

When their hands are raised, his free hand goes to his waist and he slowly slides it around him, pulling him back against his chest. Kai feels Sehun tense and he rests his head on his shoulder, turning his head and pressing his face to his neck, whispering, "I won't hurt you again, ever. I won't let myself get that way again. Trust in me, please, I will keep you safe."

 

 

_His surroundings are white, startlingly white. Even the clothes that he is vaguely aware of wearing are white. Before him, the only things that break the empiness are the bright colors of paints, the dark stained wood of an easel with a blank canvas mounted on it. Sehun reaches for a paintbrush, his hand shaking the entire way and continuing to even after he takes it in his hand. From behind him, a hand takes his and steadies it, guiding it to the canvas, helping him paint, while whispering that he'd never hurt him again. Sehun is only able to smile very softly and faintly._

**Author's Note:**

> Please, leave me feedback, even if it's just correcting a grammatical error. I'm open to all criticism. The good, the bad, and the ugly. 
> 
> This was very dark, I don't know why I wrote it really. It came to me and I went with it. 
> 
> In case you didn't understand the ending: The ending is a metaphor, they are not actually painting a picture but Kai is helping Sehun put himself back together, helping him remake himself.


End file.
